ABSTRACT
Death of a young child is always a tragic event which resonates deeply and profoundly with ripple effects for years to come, if not lifetimes. Jo Evans takes this as a central theme in her chapter on mourning in childhood and beyond. Beginning with reflections on how she experienced the death of her eight-year-old brother when she was 11 years old and in her first term of secondary school, Evans moves on to explore how the meanings she gave this life-changing moment have changed or expanded over subsequent years. She thinks back on some of the more everyday experiences such as the dilemma she faced when asked by new classmates or acquaintances if she had siblings. ‘Not telling’ about her brother’s death left her with a sense of betrayal for failing to acknowledge his existence while ‘telling’ risked an unwanted response ranging from shock and surprise or intense curiosity through to a rapid and awkward conversational backpedalling. The ways in which her family relationships changed, both internally and externally, following the death are also explored. Evans moves on to discuss how her history can come to the fore in her current role as a school-based psychotherapist when taking on clients who have suffered a bereavement closely akin, at least on the face of it, to hers. Sensitively gauging a student’s readiness to engage with any thinking about their bereavement is key. As well, Evans emphasises the importance of not making assumptions about how grief manifests or overidentifying with clients whose story reflects one’s own personal history.
