ABSTRACT
Members’ standing toward one another is at stake in their understanding of each other's actions and their entitlement to account for their own and others’ actions. This chapter shows how the distributed work of reading a map and finding a path is not cleanly sutured as instructed actions but instead potentially a revelation or confrontation of our relationships as they were, as they are, and as they might be. It is not accidental that so many heated disagreements among couples are in the midst of wayfinding. Who we are as couples, close friends, and distant ones is central to how we acknowledge what is declared about the standing of our relationship in each action. The successes or failures of instructed actions for friends are not enough. Nor is it enough to say that my friend needs to make sense of my, and our, instructed actions. Our with-ness, our we-ness, our you-and-I ness are built from sad and happy confrontations which single us out and require responses.
