ABSTRACT
In this chapter, the editors interview Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, delving into her journey of infidelity treatment. She reflects on her personal and clinical experiences, which inspired her to write After the Affair, a book focused on recovering from the devastating impact of infidelity. As her expertise in this area grew, Dr. Spring penned other works, discussing the concept of “acceptance” as a viable alternative to forgiveness, challenging the one-size-fits-all notion that forgiveness is the only path to affair recovery. Throughout the interview, Dr. Spring navigates the intricate web of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness within the context of infidelity. She emphasizes the crucial distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation, offering a comprehensive framework for earning “genuine forgiveness.” The interview also explores the challenges in infidelity treatment. Dr. Spring identifies unrealistic healing expectations and the confusion between forgiveness and reconciliation as primary therapist hurdles. She advocates for a “policy around secrets” to enable open communication, ensuring couples can share their truths candidly. In conclusion, Dr. Spring’s approach encourages couples to explore their contributions to the conditions leading to an affair. Her pragmatic, holistic approach infuses CBT and psychodynamic perspectives, offering valuable insights to help individuals and couples navigate infidelity’s complexities and emerge stronger.
