ABSTRACT
This chapter discusses the practices of consensual non-consent among practitioners of BDSM in Poland. While BDSM, as a form of sexual expression, is often presumed to be based on inviolate respect for sexual consent, ethnographic data suggests that the approaches towards consent among BDSM practitioners can be both more varied, and significantly looser. In particular, practices of consensual non-consent emerge in situations where practitioners believe that being allowed to withdraw their consent midway through a BDSM scene could lead to an overall decrease in the quality of their sex lives. As such, giving up the ability to consent to sex during an encounter can be seen not as an obvious violation, but a path towards a more fulfilling sexual experience. This, in turn, leads to broader questions at the heart of this chapter: how can extant theories of consent account for the idea of ‘consensual non-consent’? Can sex be both consensual and non-consensual at the same time? What can be done with sexual ethics when consent is not enough – and when consent is too much?
