ABSTRACT
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s (1986 [1850]) sonnets—her very personal expressions of love— were not meant for publication, but as a gift to her husband Robert as a token of her devotion. There are different ways to communicate romantic feelings. Gift-giving is one. Giving and receiving of gifts is characteristics of intimate relationships. It is a message, a form of communication, through a tangible material object, about love, affection, and concern about the recipient. The “romantic gift” is a provocative subject. It evokes a multitude of intertwined meanings: passion, intimacy, affection, persuasion, care, celebration, altruism, and nostalgia. It can also connote negative images of obligation and reciprocity. Romantic gift-giving may be practiced within rituals, such as Valentine’s Day, during rites of passage, such as weddings, or for casual occasions to affirm the continued importance of the romantic relationship. It can be used for an instrumental purpose to initiate and maintain an intimate relationship. We may even romanticize the giving of gifts to the self, to nonhuman companions, and to others we do not know personally. If loving and giving are practices, then romantic gift-giving is a practice of loving with intimate—or would-be intimate—others.
