ABSTRACT
This chapter discusses the ways in which theories and practices of motherhood have been queered by mothers who live outside of so-called traditional nuclear families comprised of one mother, one father, and their biological offspring. Mothers who are sexually queer (e.g., lesbian or non-monogamous) challenge legal and cultural definitions of family as heteronormative while parents who are gender queer (e.g., butch, trans, or intersex) challenge the gendered discourse of “motherhood” itself. Whether straight-identified, femme-identified, or queer-identified, those who mother queerly (i.e., “do” motherhood in ways that deviate from standard practice) also implicitly and explicitly challenge prevailing notions of good mothering. Such deviations from culturally dominant standards of “good” mothering often come at a cost, leading some queer mothers to seek social approval through processes of cultural assimilation. Thus, this chapter also explores the consequences of normalizing of lesbian and gay families mimicking the heteronormative ideal. These consequences include the further stigmatization of queer mothers who cannot or will not assimilate and the exploitation of brown, black, and poor birthmothers whose invisible reproductive labors may secure the possibility of homonormative lesbian and gay families.
