ABSTRACT
Orthodox parents of LGBT children report experiencing loss, grief, fear, isolation, depression, and alienation from community, rabbi, and friends; threats to quality of life for themselves and their children; and fear for the future of their child.
Kabakov’s work with these parents as the executive director of Eshel (www.eshelonelin.org) has suggested that, when parents of LGBT children receive support, they are empowered to advocate for themselves. In fact, some of the challenges orthodox parents face when they “come out” about their children have prompted these parents to work for systemic change within their communities.
The typical path for parents of those who choose to leave the community differs from that of their children: parents of late-adolescent or adult children are less likely to leave their orthodox community when they discover they have an LGBT child.
As community leaders (rabbis, educators) have for the most part remained silent on this issue, and are often at a loss as to how to counsel parents about their LGBT child or, worse, reject these families, parents must draw on their own internal strengths and resources. They need orthodox parents to draw from as they navigate the inclusion of their new family construct in an orthodox community.
