ABSTRACT

This chapter attempts to describe the, The Compassionate Friends (TCF) process and the movement of individuals through that process. The cathectic dimension is a special part of the TCF affiliation process, for the new self of bereaved parents is a special part of losing a child. The TCF process hinges on a discovery most people make: that helping others is a way of retaining a relationship with the dead child and a way of healing the self. The transition from being helped to helping is a key one in the TCF process, for reaching out to others in sympathy seems to be a first step in reinvesting the self in other relationships. Other people see TCF as a continuing source of strength in their lives, but do not move into formal leadership. Clearly TCF is somewhere between those two, for parental bereavement is a permanent condition.