ABSTRACT
This chapter explores the usefulness of the concept of unconscious beliefs in working with couples. Unconscious beliefs have a particular feeling about them– although they are beliefs, they reside in the unconscious like facts until we become aware that they are in reality only beliefs. The concept of shared phantasy and shared defence has some overlap, perhaps even a lot with the idea of unconscious beliefs. The kinds of unconscious beliefs we encounter in those couples that come for help will be many and varied. Sometimes the unconscious beliefs are shared by the couple; sometimes they are different but dovetail with the other partner's in some way. The emotional tone of a session is often one of certainty. The problem about unconscious beliefs is that they stop the relationship developing. Therefore, instead of curiosity about the other and discovery of the other leading to something potentially creative, the feelings of the other that oppose the belief are experienced as problems.
