ABSTRACT
Much has been written regarding the differences between the psychological universes of the paranoid-schizoid and depressive positions for the individual. This chapter explores how these differences affect couple relationships, especially when their shared paranoid-schizoid frame of mind is extreme, bordering on psychotic functioning. Couples in trouble often bring up, in the initial consultation, the centrality of ideals in their view of what should constitute the core of a relationship. Many couples also cling to an ideal of perfect and perpetual harmony, unable to perceive that they are thereby insisting on forcing each other to try to realise an ideal. In all of this, the dimension of time is crucial. The journey from predominantly narcissistic, paranoid-schizoid to predominantly depressive couple relating cannot but take place over a period of time. A crucial component in work with couples where betrayal is a major factor is the quality of each of the partners' superego, and therefore of their joint superego.
