ABSTRACT
One morning my wife and I walked away from our four-year-old daughter’s kindergarten, having just dropped her off at the front door. Her classmates were already outside on the playground for morning exercise. She hesitated to go to her friends as she was absorbed in watching us walk away. My wife told me that, on the days she dropped her off, our daughter acted needy at the door, calling “bye” repeatedly and waiting until my wife disappeared from sight before going into her classroom. “But,” she added, “I think it’s a show rather than genuine.” Her comment is a mundane, yet common example of everyday concerns about authenticity and the dramaturgical self. One question the example begs asking is what is the difference between performing a self and being oneself? Other questions include what kinds of meanings does one attach to another’s behaviors? And what are the consequences of those meanings? In this case, we see a four-year-old acting in a way that is not seen as authentic. Had my wife defined our daughter as being “genuinely” needy, she would doubtlessly have acted on her concerns. When is a child (or an adult for that matter) needy versus just acting needy (and what does my use of “just” imply)? Ought we assume some qualitative distinction and assume, as Shakespeare’s (1623) famous quote might lead us to, that “all the world’s a stage, and all men and women merely players?” Or are performances better understood as dramaturgical expressions of a self that is more or less authentic, the two being separable only analytically?
