ABSTRACT
The author discusses his memory of militarism. The boys and girls stand impassive and attentive in their uniforms in Kent, where a retired army officer is making his inspection. Faces each seeking, in their way, the resolve of soldiers proper, a discipline and bearing in excess of their soft youth. So many pretenders at combat readiness, a half-hearted simulacrum of military drill. Sometimes they hold guns while they practise salutes and turns, the clip and thud of their stiff boots. The stories told in Hiltons are enriching, and offer a respite from his usual performances, but he cannot share in the telling. People ask him about it a lot, what led him to study gender violence. Telling the story in the Hilton hotel room, and writing it anew here, a basic experiment that got out of control, he also see that it has become more about traces and origins than he anticipated.
