ABSTRACT
This chapter describes the attachment/caregiving system and how crying is an integral aspect of this system in infancy and beyond. It shows how the attachment/caregiving system can be applied to understand crying–by client or therapist–in the therapeutic context. The chapter discusses four prototypes of therapists' tears that can occur within the therapeutic attachment bond. The attachment and caregiving systems are reciprocal–attachment behaviours trigger caregiving behaviours–in the parent–infant relationship and in close relationships throughout life, including the therapeutic relationship. The process, mutual and inter subjective from the outset, results from the intertwining of two nervous systems so that there is reciprocity of both affect arousal and affect regulation. The default reason for crying in infancy is at separation from the caregiver, and for adults at the death of a close loved one. Separation and loss are the key precipitants for tears throughout life.
