ABSTRACT
Back in the 1980s, on a hot summer’s day, my friend and colleague, best-selling author Sam Keen, and I were working, shirtless, repairing a bridge over a creek on his property. To his surprise, I suddenly took off, up into the hills when I spotted one of my patients driving down the hill towards the bridge we were working on. After my client drove over the bridge and was out of sight, I reappeared and joined Sam, who, by that time had figured out the cause of my disappearance. It was in these unlikely circumstances that I was initiated into the idea that some multiple relationships are unexpected and unavoidable and can be not only ethical, but also helpful. Seriously annoyed with me, he said something like, “You describe yourself as a ‘secular priest’ and you lived in Israel where the rabbis not only lead the congregations and conduct sermons and weddings, but also conduct pastoral counseling, marital therapy, and help individuals and couples in their congregations to work out their spiritual, mental health, and other problems.” He then added something to the time of, “You also lived with the Maasai in Africa where you would never see a Maasai, in need of medical, mental or spiritual help, take a raft and float three villages down the river to find a medicine man who doesn’t know him or his tribe. The suffering man would turn to the medicine man or the wise woman of his very own village for help, because they know him, they know his family, his ancestors, and the spirits of the tribe. Healing takes place in one’s own community, by
a familiar healer.” His exasperation was a turning point for me and irreversibly shaped my attitudes towards healing in general and multiple relationships in particular.
