This reflective piece considers the ways in which concepts of control and of obligation are used when describing caring practices and the problems in deciding when control is a necessary or helpful part of caring and when it is not. It suggests that recognition of the cultural variability of ideas about ‘good’ care highlight these difficulties more strongly. It explores the social desirability of feeling an ‘obligation’ to care alongside the potential gender, age and relationship stereotyping of obligations that are linked to social roles. Finally, the chapter considers what an approach focused on the caringscapes and carescapes of children and young people might offer, suggesting that a child’s or young person’s view of control and obligations in the context of past experiences and future hopes are of particular interest. In addition, the changing, socially shaped, embodied capacities of the child will affect their caringscape while thinking about the carescapes important to children and young people is of particular importance to social policy.