ABSTRACT
This chapter focuses on reflexivity in action and writing reflexively by presenting an account of ‘becoming’ an academic in the UK higher education context. I take us on a journey through critical moments in my academic career as a sociologist/criminologist in which the position and status of ‘imposter’ was brought to the fore – often imposed by other players in the academic field. This includes reflections at the beginning of my career as a Teaching Fellow, reflections on mid-career via an autoethnographic performance of the managerialist technology of control known as the performance development review (PDR), and then reflections on present day experiences of ‘imposter syndrome’ as I move up the shaky ladder of academia. This enables us to problematize ‘masculinist’ notions of career as a single upward linear trajectory and to swim around awhile in the sediment, lifting the rocks, and peering underneath at the hidden institutional structures, processes, and relationships that support, constrain, or transform the academic lives of women, and thereby the academy itself. The chapter illustrates the value of autoethnography and writing as a method of inquiry, in terms of reflecting and writing reflexively.
