ABSTRACT
This chapter aims to invite relationship partners to move from an other-negating, adversarial stance toward each other to an other-affirming, collaborative relationship. Martin Buber’s ideas regarding human being and relationships help illuminate the source of this kind of intractable problem in couple relationships, and they suggest a way for couples to break free. Buber’s ideas are grounded in a perspective of human beings as fundamentally relational. Buber’s philosophy suggests that the root of conflict and adversarial relationships between partners is an I-It way of being. Relationships that are characterized by I-It relating may become inundated with conflict, and partners may have difficulty developing or maintaining closeness. Likewise, experiencing a partner listening with I-Thou acceptance, understanding, and compassion may invite mutual softening, empathic listening, and understanding. The application of the concepts can also be facilitated through homework.
