ABSTRACT

It’s 2am on October 16th, 2009, and I find myself driving at speed toward the local hospital, my wife no longer able to convince me that she is not in labour. We are rushed through to a delivery suite and within a few hours our son is born. We are left by the midwives to spend some time with our new baby, but something is not right. My wife feels worse now than she did during childbirth. Is this what’s supposed to happen? I go off in search of a midwife and she returns with a medical team. My wife is taken to theatre for a routine procedure. Meantime the baby is left to lie on me as I slump in an armchair. Having no young relatives, this is the first time I have ever held a baby. As she leaves, the midwife says: ‘Try not to fall asleep.’ I have been up all night, but I try to give her a look which communicates (without words): ‘I am too scared to fall asleep.’