ABSTRACT
In this short piece I want to suggest that aggressive energies and fantasies can be the conduits of important changes in the realms of relationship and agency for women. Of specific interest to me is the point where relationship and agency appear to clash, leaving women with what appears to be a choice between two irreconcilable alternatives. The capacity to attain a third position, from which aggressive energies can be held and directed for the good of relationship, is a significant human achievement, and an increasing capacity to do so correlates with an increasing capacity to build and sustain lively relationships without compromising oneself or one’s values.
