ABSTRACT
The second life task of friendship is cultivated, or not, during our formative years. Adlerians tend to be pragmatists. Much of what they use in teaching and counseling comes from the experience of others—parents, teachers, counselors, and, yes, children! Cooperation as the preferred method of teaching and learning is presented as the proven means to both academic achievement and social skills. Case examples and activities illustrate the four goals of disruptive behavior (i.e., excessive attention seeking, power, revenge and inadequacy); the child’s private logic in pursuing them; how to identify them; and corrective actions such as natural and logical consequences that complement the encouragement process. The acronym, CARE, Catch yourself—stop what reinforces the behavior, Assess the goal of misbehavior and discouragement, Respond with consequences and encouragement, and Execute with consistency, friendliness, and respect are explained. Typical faulty goals of adolescents, their response to peers’ and adults’ reactions, and potential corrective methods also are presented. Rules of thumb, specific techniques, and useful methods for wining cooperation and building social interest are summarized within this chapter.
