ABSTRACT
The author draws on contemporary studies and personal reflections to refute the notion that one’s sexual orientation determines something meaningful about the quality of one’s parenting. Yet the continuing existence of homophobia can affect the experience of being parents, and even the fantasies, conscious or otherwise, around becoming parents. This chapter explores the redemptive wishes possibly embedded in fantasies of parenthood, as well as other legacies of growing up gay that can influence the experience of same-sex parenting. In addition, it examines narratives of how the family came into being, as well as fantasies around absent birth others, as important aspects of gay parenting and ultimately taking pleasure in variance or marginality.
