ABSTRACT
On my first day back after the summer holidays, Dominic had to be woken up and taken to my parents in his pyjamas for his breakfast. It was one of the few times we had ever needed to wake him – typical! Once at school I felt very, very nervous. People I had known for years seemed almost uncomfortable to be with me and worried about what to say to me. I was very glad of Nick being around but we try to keep a distance from each other at work. How I wanted to hold his hand for reassurance like I had done on many occasions in recent months. At least there were no pupils and we had some training instead. We listened to a speaker in the hall but I could not concentrate for my mind whirring about the bodies around me. I went in the small staff room at coffee break but felt the beginnings of a panic attack so wandered the corridors in tears instead. Yet I stayed the rest of the day in spite of feeling sick, headachy and generally as though I was tied in knots. I could not wait to get home and busied myself making a meal for us and my parents when they brought Dominic home. We had a family playtime before bed.
