ABSTRACT
In Chapter 5, Sydney Reed describes the deaths of both of her grandmothers. In 1972 she was not present at the funeral when her maternal grandmother died. Three years later she was present at the funeral when her paternal grandmother died. She contrasts these two events, suggesting a shock wave occurred in the first death that might have been handled differently had she been “present and accounted for” and known more about the emotional shock wave pattern as happened in the second death. She examines the process of the emotional shock wave as her family experienced it and describes how being present at nodal events offers an opportunity to work on differentiation of self.
