ABSTRACT
As previously highlighted, it is simplistic to view estrangement from a psychological, didactic and relational perspective. Relationship dissolution develops from a complex interplay of socio-economic, historical and cultural factors that intersect with the characteristics – such as personality and genetics – of the parties involved. This chapter examines the principles and strategies that encourage individuals and families to learn to live with estrangement. The chapter is relevant regardless of whether reconciliation is considered, attempted or achieved in the future. The focus is on the development of healthy relationships, increased insight, resilience and well-being notwithstanding future intentions and aspirations for the estranged relationship. This is in no way a linear, staged or finite process. Estranged people suggest that learning to live with estrangement is hard work that requires ongoing long-term effort. However, the result can be a liberating experience of self-growth and reconnection. The chapter draws on research and theory to assist people to learn about, and live with, estrangement. These ideas can be adapted and incorporated by estranged people and their families, as well as employed in therapeutic settings, and they are relevant to all types of estrangement. The chapter concludes with a section for professionals which gives a broad overview of the possibilities for therapeutic intervention in this field. Finally, a practice section encourages a strengths-focused assessment of the reader or client’s progress towards living with estrangement.
