ABSTRACT
The title of this chapter is not a common question among grievers. However, it is only
the beginning of many subsequent similar interrogative or declarative statements.
‘‘How could a loving God let this happen?’’ ‘‘God could have healed my loved one, but He didn’t.’’ ‘‘Nothing makes sense anymore.’’ ‘‘God, I am angry at you!’’ ‘‘I don’t think you even care.’’ ‘‘I am not even sure you exist.’’ ‘‘Why?’’ ‘‘Why now?’’ ‘‘Why this?’’ ‘‘Why me?’’ ‘‘What am I supposed to do now?’’ Grievers have questions of ultimate concern, even those who are devoutly reli-
gious. Death can and often does invalidate one’s belief system, or at least calls it into
violent question. It devastates some and tests others’ spirituality as indicated by the
questions asked. Since pastoral care givers are God’s field representatives, they are
supposed to have answers to these questions. That is correct, is it not? The reality is
that many of the questions asked will not be answerable, but they are normal
questions in times of distress, like the death of a loved one. Gerald Sittser, whose
mother, wife, and daughter died in an automobile crash, asked many of those
normal questions and had these words to say:
‘‘Loss may call the existence of God into question. Pain seems to conceal him from
us, making it hard for us to believe that there could be a God in the midst of our
suffering. In our pain we are tempted to reject God, yet for some reason we hesitate
to take that course of action. So we ponder and pray. We move toward God, then
away from him.’’
