ABSTRACT
At the very first visit, the caregiver's primary goal is to begin to develop a comfortable and trusting relationship with the dying person. Central to the caring relationship is not only "paying attention to the details of our behavior" and knowing what to say and when to say it, but also being mindful about what the other is saying and not saying. It is said that all communication between human beings starts in the eyes and the rest of the body, and that body language constitutes 50% or more of what we communicate. We signal our attitudes and our feelings through movements of our eyes, head, arms, fingers and legs as well as our facial muscles, our crossed limbs, and our shoulders and other body parts. When speaking of basic attending skills, we are talking about those behaviors, particularly with our eyes and upper body, which let the other know that we are with them and ready to hear them.
