ABSTRACT
Effective caregiving is absolutely grounded in the act of being with the dying person – being present. Listening is fixing our attention only on the other person. Hearing requires that we listen inside us as we listen to them. Hearing is a rhythm whereby we shuttle between their words and our experience. When we share a problem or concern with another individual, we don't always want answers or solutions – what we want from the other is simply to hear us, because generally, as we hear ourselves in the presence of the other's silence, we will arrive at our own answers. The ability to listen actively, generously, and mindfully without interfering or judging is challenging to our human nature, but critical to our relationships. Too often, as we listen to the other, we sit there rehearsing how we will respond, or we try to psychologize.
