ABSTRACT

One stormy evening, three shadowy figures emerged from a brooding gothic tower overlooking a fetid swamp. These three schemers were Dr Procter, an ambitious medic, Mrs Countem, a buxom statistician, and Miss Plannem, a lowly study manager. After days locked in the smoke-filled labyrinth, they blinked in the weak November twilight, their weariness overcome by the smug feeling that they had produced a masterly protocol for a study that would guarantee the success of Horrormycin. As the conference season was approaching, Dr Donothing, who had failed to recruit a single patient to the study, sent smoke signals to Dr Climber, indicating that a trip to Costlyville would be most acceptable. Honest Dr Seymour was surprised to receive the manuscript, since, despite recruiting several patients, he had never been told how the study had gone, so he asked for the original report. The final list of authors was: Donothing, Regionale, Keen, Igor, Seymour, Climber and Importante.