ABSTRACT
The second class began by discussing the wish to keep things concrete rather than abstract. The class agreed that they would try to be concrete, and we asked that they hold us to the same standard.
We then picked up on something, Lori, a student, had raised in the previous class. She asked, "What if you choose to be in conflict? Is that a contradiction?" and gave the example of her work with a "man who had a tremendous amount of guilt about having sexual encounters with males in the past. It was really hard for me not to say something like, 'That's OK, I don't have a problem.' My value was that same-sex sex is fine. But he felt guilty, so we had a session where I let my values come out and it turned out that that was not helpful to him. So the rest of the time, I chose to be in conflict and I didn't pretend that I was someone who believed otherwise. I wonder, in retrospect, if it would have been better never to reveal my values, that same-sex sex is OK, and great, fabulous sometimes, because that was counterproductive for him. So that was what I said. "
