ABSTRACT
We have talked at length throughout this book about the harmful consequences of sex addiction, but it must also be recognised that there are a lot of gains too – however fleeting they may be. As well as being a powerful tool to relax and soothe both body and brain, sex is also exhilarating and empowering. Addiction is also a place where many people experience what’s known as ‘flow’. Flow is used to describe the state of mind when we’re totally absorbed by an activity that we’re good at, also known as being ‘in the zone’, or ‘in the groove’. Most people with an addiction are very good at what they do. They become experts at finding and collecting pornography or making show reels, or they become experts at researching sex workers or picking up sex partners. Quite aside from sexual satiation, there’s often a real satisfaction and sense of being alive that’s found when lost in the addiction. Long-term recovery means finding alternative ways to experience these positive emotions. In reality, many things are poor substitutes and it’s important to accept this fact. There may be little that can replace the intense high of sexual arousal, but when the bigger picture of life is taken into account, and additional pleasures are added, the gains definitely outweigh the losses. We have also considered at length how addiction is used to anaesthetise against negative emotions and cope with the stresses and strains of life. Unfortunately, there are no known ways of completely avoiding life’s challenges, but a healthy lifestyle can minimise their impact.
