ABSTRACT
Many problems with social relationships occur as a result of poor knowledge of the basic rules of social interaction. An important role for the counsellor involves teaching these rules to clients. In order to focus this teaching, it is important to assess what the client is deprived of in their social relationships. This can be difficult, because:
1 the client seems only able to express their feelings in terms of their primary needs (e.g. ‘I do not feel confident with people’) and resists further help until the need is resolved (e.g. ‘I will be able to mix better when I feel more confident’);
2 the client latches on to one relationship as a panacea for all his lonely feelings (e.g. ‘I wish I had a girlfriend’) and is reluctant to accept that any other changes (such as simply ‘getting on’ better with people) will help.
