ABSTRACT
I am a student nurse. I am dying. I write this to you who are, and will become, nurses in the hope that by my sharing my feelings with you, you may someday be better able to help those who share my experience. For me, fear is today and dying is now. You slip in and out of my room, give me medications and check my blood pressure. Is it because I am a student nurse myself, or just a human being, that I sense your fright? And your fears enhance mine. Why are you afraid? I am the one who is dying! Death may get to be a routine to you, but it is new to me. You may not see me as unique, but I’ve never died before. To me, once is pretty unique! You whisper about my youth, but when one is dying, is one really so young anymore? I have lots I wish we could talk about. It really would not take much more of your time because you are in here quite a bit anyway. If only we could be honest, both admit our fears, touch one another. If you really care, would you lose so much of your valuable professionalism if you even cried with me? Just person to person? Then, it might not be so hard to die-in a hospital-with friends close by.
