ABSTRACT
Such memories emphasize the sense of absence and distance which boys feel when reflecting on the quality of the fathering they have received. Fathers and sons seem to be trapped in a cycle of estrangement in which a sense of image plays a large part. Credibility in the eyes of other men has determined the way fathers view their responsibility towards small children and babies. Fear of losing face by seeming soft in the eyes of other men helps to limit men’s nurturing capability around their children. Oakley (1979) in her study of new mothers discovered that one-third of their husbands saw their babies for less than half an hour per day. Fathers squeeze child care into their available time. She suggests that it is more acceptable for partners to help their wives, ‘provided that he doesn’t help too much’, since then his masculinity will survive.
