ABSTRACT
There are considerable personal and cultural differences in how much emotion people show and how they do this. Expression of affect cannot be simply measured in decibels, millilitres or megabytes. In many cultures, acute severe illness is frequently accompanied by an initial phase of dazed denial, which is then followed by anxiety, hope and fear, and often resentment towards the ill member. It is very important that such a sequence of affective states is acknowledged and that family members are able to talk about these often contradictory feelings. This is especially so if family members are at different stages along the sequence of feelings. You may get a strong sense that under the cheerful feelings bubbling at the surface, there is a profound sadness. You may notice that ‘of course I love you dear’ is said in a very cross, unloving voice or that family members’ body language just do not match the feelings being talked about.
