ABSTRACT
Once a reasonable sense of self-identity has been achieved in the preceding phase you are ready to make your own way in the world without dependence upon your family of origin. Your SEEKING/Desire motivational system will promote a drive towards finding rewards to enable you to live, so it is likely that you will have to be able to convince an employer that you are sufficiently clear about yourself and why you are worth employing. You will have to tread the fine line between revealing what makes you stand out from the crowd in a useful way and how well you have been ‘normalised’ so that you will fit into any organisation. Your SEEKING/Desire motivational system is also likely to encourage you to find a new attachment person who will complement your range of talents and be able to care for you, modulating emotional turbulence when required. Once self-identity is clear it is easier to make valid long-term commitments. At the same time the LUST/Sexual motivational system is likely to promote the quest for finding a sexual mate. For various reasons, what is required from your attachment figure and what is required from your sexual mate may or may not be found in the same person. Once in a relationship, your CARE motivational system is likely to motivate the establishment of a new home and safe haven in which you can recuperate from the stresses and strains of everyday life to manage your FEAR/Anxiety system. The GRIEF/Loss motivational system may be active, driving feelings of missing the support of the original family home and maternal care and containment.
