Focusing on Transference

Another way to dig deeper into the psychology of a couple’s negative interaction cycle is to examine their transferences to each other. The basis for the concept of transference in psychoanalytic theory is the observation that people often distort events so that they experience them not as they objectively are or as they would be experienced by a hypothetical transference-free person, but as modified by their current (frequently unconscious) wishes and fears. These wishes and fears, in turn, derive from a combination of inborn motivations, past experiences, and current emotional needs (Cooper, 1987; Greenson, 1967). Past experiences with childhood caretakers, with siblings, ¹ with peers (especially in adolescence), and with prior intimate partners are all important sources. ²