ABSTRACT
A particular aspect in the management of conflicts and disagreements is how the individual poses boundaries between the self and the other in the relationship. An overwhelming majority of the interviewed couples in the in-depth study claimed to agree on their fundamental ideas about what the children needed to learn and how they should behave in the family and in the community. Almost half of the couples expressed that they had differences in opinions when it came to how they controlled the children, how they tried to influence them or pose behavioural boundaries. The differences followed a traditional gender pattern – the father often imposed clear boundaries, used a sharp tone, gave clear directions about boundaries and was principled. Among women who presented themselves as more dominant, there was a certain ambivalence associated with their own style. They took in their husbands’ criticism of them, claiming to know that they were doing wrong.
