ABSTRACT
The focus on the co-creation of self in relationship has always been very much at the heart of Gestalt and existential approaches: `A person's humanity is manifest only in dialogic relation to others' (Hycner and Jacobs, 1995: 53). Spinelli (2007) emphasizes again that existential psychotherapy adopts `the principles of relatedness' which refers to `the interrelational grounding to all subjective experience' (p. 75). Drawing on much literature on the subject, Fonagy et al. (2002), coming from a psychoanalytic developmental perspective, conclude: `There is general agreement that the self exists only in the context of the other; the development of the self is tantamount to the aggregation of experiences of self in relationships' (p. 40). In this sense we are constantly creating and developing our sense of self in our relationships with others, grounded in the more permanent features of the self that persist over time. Our sense of self is developed in relationship, through the multiplicity of interactions with our early carers, and later with our peers and signi®cant adults (including therapists) in our lives. As a central theme of our work, we are drawn to this formulation of the process of psychotherapy: `There is always the tension of looking at the dialectical-intrapsychic material and accepting and exploring these con¯icts, yet always trying to elevate this aspect to a dialogical-interpersonal relatedness to others and the world in general' (Hycner, 1993). In this sense our inner and outer experience are intimately interrelated and co-existent.
