Grief and loss: Facing change, death and bereavement

Facing loss is a difficult area for many teachers to address with children. Yet children frequently face loss – the loss of a friend, the death of a pet, the separation of family members; loss and grief are implicit to the human condition and to life experience. This chapter addresses issues of loss and grief in a wide range of situations, considering strategies to prepare children and to support them. It considers how teachers can respond to children who sometimes ask difficult questions about death, heaven and why ‘bad’ things happen to good people. It considers how teachers can explore these areas without feeling the need to have all the answers and how they can facilitate children’s questioning, appreciate their answers and ideas, and support children’s ongoing emotional development.

Death is often a taboo subject. When the words death, loss or bereavement are used, they raise a range of emotions. We each have different experiences of death in our lives to date, whether linked to family members, friends, neighbours or others we have admired or cared about. We have each coped in different ways, and many of us will have a sense of grief that remains with us or returns to us periodically. Our cosmic view will affect how we view death. Some will believe in an afterlife or

heaven of some kind, some will believe in rebirth or reincarnation, and others will believe that death is the end. Some readers will believe that it is possible to contact the spirit of a person who has ‘passed over’, whilst others will not. Whatever our personal belief or perception, it is key that we do not impose this on the children in our care and

that we allow them to think, question and grow in their own way. This can be a difficult and sometimes painful process, and children will ask personal questions about our own experiences and beliefs as they seek to develop their own views. It is important to consider in advance how we might address these, so that we can be honest with ourselves, and with the children, without being dogmatic or feeling vulnerable.