ABSTRACT
IN our post-1960s popular culture, open, supportive communica- tion is assumed to be the essence of a good relationship (Kidd, 1975; Katriel & Phillipsen, 1981). This assumption is also pervasive throughout the literature on interpersonal communication (see Parks, 1981; Bochner, 1981) and within prescriptive communication programs ad- vising family members to confront conflicts, self-disclose, and speak in terms that are descriptive, consistent, and direct (for example, Miller, Nunally, & Wackman, 1975; Guerney, 1977). There is evidently some validity in such advice, since actual or reported self-disclosure is often higher in more satis- fied and adjusted families (see Gilbert, 1976; Waterman, 1979). However, some important differences in the meaning of communication for different families are obscured by the general trend. Few researchers would take ex- ception to Bochner’s (1976) argument that satisfaction in relationships is a function of expectations set versus expectations met. Yet communication research tends to assume a single standard for what constitutes a satisfying relationship. The senior author’s own work is not exempt from this criticism (Sillars, 1980a).
