ABSTRACT
Graham Byers is 46 and for the past six and a half years he has lived with Cheryl Eliot, with whom he has a 3-year-old son, Gus. Graham has a 17-yearold daughter, Kim, from a previous relationship, although he has no contact with her. When he was in his 30s he abused his 7-year-old niece, an offence which Cheryl did not find out about until two years ago. He had received a two-year probation order. Two other offences were laid on file. In 2007 it emerged that, at about the same time as his first offence, he had abused another girl of the same age. He pleaded guilty to this and received a conditional discharge for two years, although, again, Cheryl did not know of this until the police came to their house. Graham says he lost his job as a result of the offence becoming public. At his own request, he has been on a sex offender programme, which lasts 180 hours. At the time of the interview he was a member of a relapse prevention group. He shows some talent as an artist and wants to set himself up as a self-employed decorator of custom cars, for which he has received a government grant. His first small exhibition was about to be mounted near where he lives. Graham has attended two courses for his offending. He is an articulate man
who appears to be deeply affected by the offences. He is also conscious of the damage which his deception has done to his relationship with Cheryl, with whom he says he wishes to speak more openly but for some reason finds it difficult to do so. He and his partner seem to have a different view about the state of their relationship: he believes that they are more successful in healing their relationship – he refers to it as “a success story” – than she will admit. Cheryl tells her story on page 93. I’m from a large family, there’s meself and I have three sisters, two brothers,
and an extended family of cousins and aunties. Me mother, she’s had a tough time and upbringing. She’s the oldest of her three sisters and there’s an age gap of about 10 years with her and the next one. Me grandma married again to a younger man about the same age as my mother, maybes a couple of years between them, which is what I was told later on in life. Me mother’s husband, who was father to all the other children, used to frequently leave my mother and would come back later on. They would get back together and he’d then leave again and when me grandma’s second husband came on the scene.
Obviously something had gone on between me mother and him, so up until the day he died I never knew. I thought he was me granddad, but he was me father: I was told this after the funeral by me grandma and me aunty. Then I remember other things like when me brother got married we all
went out and the man I thought was me father says, “Oh, it’s great to be here with me two sons,” and I was sat there thinking, “What about me then?” but I never put two and two together; I just thought, oh he’s had a drink. I was sat on the other side with somebody and he put his arms around them and I always remember that, it always stuck in me mind and then obviously two and two went together. From a very early age I was always going round to me grandparents’ house,
I always had a good bond with me granddad, more than any other one so I was round every single day. During the week I was round and then I ended up living there when I left school, going to college part time and doing me first job. I moved in ‘cos he was very ill, he used to be on a nebulizer all the time and me gran couldn’t look after him. I helped out till the day he died and then when I was told after the funeral, I says, “I was glad that he was.” Me father – I’ll call me mother’s husband that – was still alive and at me
other brother’s wedding, he came up to me and said, “I’m sorry to hear about your father,” and I didn’t want to make a scene or anything but I said why didn’t you tell me? Like me mother to this day, she probably knows I know but I’ve never questioned her about it, so I never would raise it. So it was weird but it wasn’t weird in a way because I’d spent a lot of time
with him, I had spent more time with him than anybody else so I felt I got … though I never got to call him dad, I called him granddad, but we had that bond as if we were son and father. Everyone knew except me but they didn’t tell me until now, so, but I was pleased I had that bond with him that I did have, otherwise I think I might have gone demented. This guy who I thought was me dad, I never saw much of him anyway ‘cos
when I was young (about 4 year old), me mam remarried, anyway, and he is me stepdad now but I just call him me dad ‘cos he like brought us up anyway, like who I thought was me real father he was. He lived out of town anyway, he was out of the picture, but even though in here [taps his head] I thought he was me dad and if we ever went with me brother to go, he say, “I’m going to see me dad.” But, yeah, me upbringing was just normal, just being a normal lad that I was. I was born 1961 and [my first offence] was about 1994 or something like
that. She was about 7 or 8. The period [when I offended] ran from about, say, 1991 to ‘95. There is six altogether of indecent assault, that’s including this one that’s just came forward. Four are on file and now I’m in my second year of a suspended sentence. [When did you come to some understanding about what your sexual interests
were?] Understanding – I think that would be the wrong word to use, ‘cos I didn’t understand otherwise I wouldn’t have done it. If I’d understood it, used knowledge, wisdom, discernment I wouldn’t have committed these offences.
