ABSTRACT
Even though families may have talked about a problem for a considerable period of time it is quite likely that they have not had the experience of hearing someone else respond to their dif®culty from a neutral position. If they have ever had a conversation with friends or other professionals, it is quite likely that there was an unwitting attempt to have that person see the problem from the perspective of the person doing the telling. It is as if we all naturally want somebody to say to us `yes you are right' and join our campaign against the others (whoever they may be).
