ABSTRACT
Ray Martin Now you’re out here for the Adelaide arts festival? Bobby Baker That’s right. Yes. R To open a kitchen? B Yep. I’m opening a kitchen for three weeks. I have actually opened my own kitchen in London, and I’ve been to a couple of other places, and I’m going to Canada later in the year to open a kitchen there. You know, to really draw attention to what goes on in kitchens. I’m going to be showing a range of things that I do in my kitchen. R Do you put on your passport kitchen opener? B No, I put artist, actually. But it sort of ties up. R What could we expect – the sort of thing we see, that you do when you open a kitchen at the Adelaide arts festival, for example? B Well, there are a dozen actions, but one that’s quite easy to understand maybe is the one – I’ve got this – shall I show you? R Please. She stands and turns to address the audience. B Well, I’ve got this skill of dealing with anger, you know when you’re intensely angry and frustrated, and I find it’s best to actually let that out, to get it out of
your system, otherwise it becomes sort of destructive. And the way that I do it – I’ve done some very stupid things in the past, and I want to show people what not to do. R Right. B Once I threw an electric typewriter on the floor and that was a real mistake, because it’s quite expensive. I had to pay for it to be repaired. And I’ve also thrown a glass, which could be very dangerous, into the corner of a room, carefully. So what I recommend is to get a really ripe piece of fruit – especially, I like pears, you know when they’re sort of slightly too old – (She takes one from a bowl on the table in front of her.) – and just sort of hurl that with great force. Preferably, I prefer a kind of washed-down paintwork so you can actually clear it up quickly afterwards, but I was a bit worried about your set because it’s this wonderful paintwork, and so I’ve got a tablecloth to put up, because I’m going to show you my technique – hang on a minute… (She unravels a tablecloth; audience laughter.) I’ve got a paper tablecloth. Um, if you don’t mind, can I just – R No no, please, go for it, yeah. Audience laughter. Bobby moves some potted plants
out of the way to clear a space against the wall of the studio. B I think it’s best, you see, in these moments, to actually think ahead and avoid – (She moves an ornamental vase out of the way.) Audience laughter. R And you’d normally do this in the kitchen, would you? B Yeah, well I don’t need to in my kitchen because I’ve got a gloss paint door. R You can wipe it off? B Yes. R Okay. B But I’d hate to damage this. If I put that up there… (She secures the tablecloth to the wall.) There, right, okay. And then – R So you’re in the kitchen, you’re pretty angry? B Yep, I’m really furious. (Audience laughter.) And I know – I mean I am slowing it down, so that you can understand how I do it. I would normally be much quicker. But I use a sort of cricket bowling technique – (Audience laughter.) – because I used to want to be good at cricket when I was young. So, I don’t do the sort of sissy underarm. (Audience laughter.) I do a proper overarm. She eyes up her target. R So you’re angry, you’re upset about something, you’re in the kitchen? B Yeah. Take a real sort of close aim. Do be careful, because once for instance I hit the light fitting. Which was – (Audience laughter.) – and then just slowly… (She mimes the action slowly; audience laughter.) I’m going to really do it now. R So you’re angry, right? B I’m really angry. (She takes a run up and throws.) Arggh! The pear hits the cloth on the wall and explodes. The audience laughs and applauds. R And do you feel better? B I feel great. You notice I shouted at that last moment. R Yes. B That really kind of lets it all out. R Yes. B And then I can rush over there and clear it – I’m sorry about the carpet, but it will wipe out. (Audience laughter; she turns to them.) Just don’t leave it to dry, because it goes very hard, when it’s dried on.
