ABSTRACT
Partners can get into trouble if they approach their intimate relationship with the goal of using it to heal historical problems with esteem (those that precede the relationship), but an intimate relationship is the only place where they will ever heal attachment injuries—either historical or those that arise in the relationship. Many couple therapists have described the healing power of intimate relationships. That healing does not refer to the realm of esteem, though many people may try to use their relationships for that purpose. The healing possible in a healthy intimate relationship refers to the healing of old attachment injuries. Some theorists have even suggested that a potential mate’s capacity to provide such healing is one of the prime factors that determines a person’s choice of a life partner. 1
