ABSTRACT
Men learn sex function as easy, predictable, and totally in his control. He functions autonomously – gets an erection, has intercourse, and ejaculates without needing anything from his partner. He believes that this is “normal” male sex and the only way to have sex. This sets him up for erectile dysfunction and sexual avoidance with aging. To remain sexual, he embraces Good Enough Sex (GES) which reinforces variable, flexible couple sexuality with a range of roles, meanings, and outcomes. GES allows the man and couple to enjoy being sexual, especially with aging. Women find it easier to accept GES because it is congruent with her sexual socialization and experiences. Traditional men cling to the perfect individual sex performance model. “Wise” men adopt a pleasure-oriented GES couple approach. GES affirms desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction and promotes being intimate and erotic allies.
