Desire

Desire is the core sexual dimension. Low desire and desire discrepancies are the most common sexual problem couples bring to therapy. Men learn desire and erection as easy, predictable, and in his control. Most unhealthy is that sexual desire should be autonomous. Traditionally, male desire was taken for granted – low desire is the woman’s problem. However, when couples stop being sexual after age 50, it is the man who allows the relationship to become non-sexual because he lost confidence with erections and intercourse and suffers with secondary low desire.

Desire is facilitated by positive anticipation, sense of deserving pleasure, freedom and choice, and unpredictable sexual scenarios and techniques. Desire is both an individual and couple concept which can be promoted or subverted. The major cause of male desire problems is sex dysfunction, specifically erectile dysfunction (ED). A key concept is “responsive male sexual desire”.