ABSTRACT
The essence of couple sexuality is giving and receiving pleasure-oriented touching. Nondemand pleasuring includes both sensual and playful touch and is critical in breaking the cycle of the no sex or low sex relationship. “Foreplay” is used to get the woman ready for “real sex”—intercourse. In contrast, pleasuring includes touching inside and outside the bedroom and is valued for itself. Pleasuring confronts the rigid dichotomy that touching is all or nothing and must result in intercourse. Nondemand pleasuring is a crucial bridge to rekindle desire. Although pleasuring can be a cue for intercourse, the essence of nondemand pleasuring is the value of touching for itself. Nondemand pleasuring confronts the rigidity of a no sex or low sex relationship and helps rekindle desire. Nondemand pleasuring is the foundation for strong, resilient sexual desire. Pleasuring reinforces intimacy, attachment, and being an intimate sexual team.
