ABSTRACT
Sexual inhibitions and avoidance subvert couple sexuality. There are a myriad of possible inhibitions, divided into two broad categories—emotional and sexual. Emotional inhibitions include fear of intimacy, anger, poor communication, not valuing couple time, lack of respect because of job or money problems, disappointment with your partner or relationship, depression or anxiety, and power struggles. Examples of sexual inhibitions include anticipatory and performance anxiety, guilt about past sexual experiences, history of sexual trauma, sexual shame, and fear that sexual secrets will be disclosed.
The least healthy way to deal with inhibitions is to feel shame, blame your partner, and give in to sexual avoidance. The psychologically healthy approach is to be honest with yourself about how inhibitions interfere with sexual intimacy and desire. Disclosing your inhibitions is a crucial step; usually your partner is more accepting and empathic than you are. Discuss whether the inhibition can be resolved, modified, or worked around so it does not control your sexuality. Dealing with inhibitions and avoidance is a combination of personal responsibility and being an intimate sexual team.
