ABSTRACT
Traditionally, female sexuality, especially desire, was viewed as inferior to male sexuality. The double standard is based on this view of male and female sexuality, and it’s wrong. Female sexuality is more variable, flexible, complex, and individualistic than male sexuality, but is first-class, not inferior. The breakthrough concept is “responsive female desire”. Rather than hoping for spontaneous, orgasm-driven desire, accept your variable, flexible “sexual voice” as first-class. Like desire, female orgasmic response is more variable and individualistic. She might be singly orgasmic, multi-orgasmic, or non-orgasmic. Few women are orgasmic in the way men are—a single orgasm during intercourse without additional stimulation. For most women, multiple stimulation before and during intercourse is key. The average woman is orgasmic in 70% of encounters; the average range is 30–90%. For desire, the challenge is to celebrate her sexual voice, including her erotic voice. For orgasm, it is discovering her orgasmic voice, and realizing that orgasm is integral for female sexuality. Sexual satisfaction is much more than orgasm; it involves feeling good as a sexual woman and energized as a sexual couple.
