ABSTRACT
The traditional male sex model emphasized total predictability, with autonomous desire, erection, and intercourse. The male sex myth was that a “real man could have sex with any woman, any time, in any situation”. This puts tremendous pressure on his penis to be a perfectly performing machine. A little-known fact is that when couples stop being sexual, especially after age 40, it is usually the man’s choice because he has lost confidence with erections and intercourse.
The “wise man” embraces two new models—the female-male equity model and the Good Enough Sex (GES) model. He accepts her as his intimate and erotic friend and experiences sexuality as sharing pleasure rather than an individual pass-fail intercourse test. He continues to value intercourse and orgasm, and in addition learns to accept sensual, playful, and erotic scenarios as sexual. If a sexual encounter is disappointing or dysfunctional, he turns toward his partner rather than panic or apologize. He accepts that desire and satisfaction are more important than intercourse and orgasm.
